I keep trying to make these fucked up plans even when I know its the wrong move. But the universe seems to be keeping me in check so I doubt anything will even come of them.
Earlier today at work I had some really dark and depressing thoughts. The fact that I am still on this earth and Danny isn't is something that I will never be able to comprehend. It is seriously mind-blowing. I would gladly trade places with him if I could. No questions asked. Its not like I have anything to offer anyone like he did. He had a family and was trying to make something of his life....whereas I am completely alone and back working in a restaurant. Fucking great.
I wished for death in....2004? 2005? Dunno. Life is fucked up though in that it took Danny instead of me. Oh and I just searched for my old "journal" and found it....so I wished for death or whatever in 2007. Sounds about right. That was a pretty shitty year overall.
I wanted to write and say so much more but I'm just going to cut this short for now.
-M
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