Not home for Christmas

I am writing this from a tablet that I received for Christmas from my brother. It is really cool. Also I am currently in New Been with the roommate and his girlfriend and friend. It has been a weird but actually decent Christmas.

Right now I am suffering the effects of binging on carbs and sugar for days, so I feel like crap. After being in Ketosis for so long, cheating really really hurts. I have a headache, stomach ache, and feel tired as hell.

Christmas itself was fairly great, a lot of unexpected but welcomed gifts...that I'm not sure entirely deserve. But I can't exactly give them back. I suppose I could, but yeah that would be terribad.

As 2013 draws to a close I can't help but hope for a better year next year. I got in way over my head with the whole Niki thing. I think I'm going to base my future mate expectations on the mother from 'A Christmas Story' because she is all around awesome.

I dunno, I understand that a career should be my most important focus right now, but my loneliness is practically crippling. Gah. I should probably lower my expectations or something.

Guess that's it for now.

Merry Christmas.

-M

Where things stand now vs. How They Were

For someone so adamant about being honest and truthful, the lies sure did start to pile up. The girl I mentioned in the previous blog entry, Niki, claimed to be all about honesty and whatnot. But let me explain what she is really about. 

The short version is that she played me. 

Here's the extended edition:

She really did flip flop from "you're not in the friendzone" to just wanting to be friends very fast. That should have been red flag #1 for me. But nope, I didn't even contemplate that she had a grander scheme in mind. So we continued talking, as friends, or whatever. Eventually we decided that we should be friends with benefits and so we were going to work on making the benefits part of it happen. On the only two days a week we have to make it happen, she came up with excuses. They were varied and never the same, but yet they were excuses nonetheless. Naive as I am, I believed her. I guess the loneliness built up inside of me was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Anyway, so a week passes without anything other than flirting via texts and suddenly I get some strange text messages from her:

"He's pretty kick ass."

and

"Thanks for introducing us- I'm glad you were ok with that."

Say what now? Needless to say, I'm upset by these. She makes up the excuse that she was talking about a "bass player" from "a friend's band" that she was stealing for a 'jam session' on the weekend. That should have been another red flag. But nope, stupid me believed her. I feel for that one hook line and sinker. What really threw me for the loop is that she made it seem like it was legit and that she genuinely felt bad, even though I know now that she's a damn liar. I don't see how anyone could throw around the word "babe" without any sort of emotional attachment, yet that's exactly what she did. I digress. 

We go about our daily routine of occasionally texting when on monday she's like, "hey are you home? can i call?" and I tell her yes to both. On the phone she tells me that since she's going to be moving back home to Virginia that she met up with an old ex-boyfriend and he wanted to take her out to dinner and she was trying to see if I was okay with that. I tried to explain to her that I have no saying over what she wants to do, we aren't exclusive or anything. So of course she is thrilled that she gets to meet up with this guy or whatever. It's all a load of shit that I shouldn't even be dealing with. IF THE FUCKING BITCH HAD JUST SAID, 'HEY I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE, THERE'S SOMEONE ELSE' I'D BE PERFECTLY FINE. But no. I didn't get that courtesy. I got lead around by a leash (albeit of mostly my own doing) and fell for every fucking word.

I've never been the type of guy who condoned or even understood cheating. But now? Now that I know just how evil and manipulative women can be, I have no qualms about it anymore. 

In other news, I had a job screening the other day that I think I completely blew. I hope I'm wrong and that I end up getting an interview and the job, but I sincerely doubt it. I really need to concentrate more on thinking before speaking. Its a bad habit that I need to kick. Ugh.

I wanted to write more but I have to get ready for work. More later possibly.

-M

'And then its' over just as quickly as it began...'

I was talking to a girl named Niki. She liked me. At least thats what she had me believe. There were cons to her from the beginning (which should have stopped me) but I chose to ignore them for the sake of potential happiness. She vehemently told me "you're not in the friendzone" last week. Yesterday she hit me with this one: "I really REALLY like you...we should just be friends." Are you kidding me? Make up your fucking mind bitch. I am used to being friendzoned, but when you say Im not and then put me there anyway Im gonna be fucking pissed. Now shes trying to be ny friend or whatever. Ugh. This will not end well. Lose 50lbs and STILL not date-able. I guess my personality is really just that shitty.