Life is a funny thing.
I never pictured leaving Texas, the state which has been my home for over two decades. I never actually had a say in the matter (well until I turned 18 at least) but I had no qualms with Texas. I loved San Antonio. Still do. The San Antonio Spurs are in the NBA Finals this year. I hope they win the championship. That would be a cool going-away/birthday present. Plus if Duncan wins the title I guarantee he will retire. Bank on it.
Anyway, I did it. I made the cross country drive from San Antonio, Texas to Garner, North Carolina. I made it in about 28 hours, with a couple of stops here and there. One of them being dinner with my cousin from Georgia who I hadn't seen in about 20 years. Worth it. Oh, and I did it without my proof of insurance...which I left in SA due to all of the commotion of the move. (Like a boss? lol)
I had to have the 'rents mail me out my insurance card, which I just received today. I went out to Walmart and Dollar Tree. (Have I mentioned how much I love Dollar Tree?)
It finally hit me as I was walking across the parking lot to my car after leaving Dollar Tree: "I am halfway across the United States, away from my family and (most of) my friends." Crazy...
Since I haven't updated this blog before the story about my crush thoroughly came to an end, let me catch up.
I put my two weeks' notice in at Jim's on May 3rd....that was the last day I would see my crush. She looked lovely. She had her hair in pigtails. Muy bonita. Ella se vea como Pocahontas. *le sigh* Anyway, I had asked her for a photo in the past but she said to ask her on a day when she did her hair all nice. So I figured that day (the 3rd) was the perfect day.
"I only have two weeks left with her, I better get the picture while I can," I thought to myself.
Little did I know how right I was.
So as the day progresses, I just figure I will ask her towards the end, so that it won't get in the way of her work. Well....she ended up leaving without telling me bye. Not only did I not get to take a picture with her, but I never got to give/get a proper goodbye....that was the last time she was at Jim's. She called in the next day and the GM basically told her that she was fired, since she DID have a habit of calling in all the damn time.
I was devastated. All the time spent (not so) secretly crushing on her and I have nothing to show for her. Not. A. Damn. Thing. Only memories. Those will have to last, and I anticipate they will.
The only thing I have are memories: our memories. Memories of time spent together. Not "together" but spent at the same place, interacting. It was a secret that I liked her for a little while, but I had a feeling she always knew. And then one day it was out, just like that. *finger snap* Matt likes her.
People seemed surprised, as if I were some sort of robot incapable of feeling. But then all of a sudden they understood. They realized that she meant more to me than just the title of "coworker" bestowed by the job. I knew we could never be, just like she did. It was a total fantasy. I even joked with her that I was going to kidnap her and we were going to run away together to Mexico and live off of the land. Heh, it sounds silly seeing it typed out but when I told her this to her face she smiled. It wasn't a fake smile. I've seen enough of those in my time to know. It was a "you are great...but it will never work" smile. I knew that. But you know what? Sometimes just getting a smile meant the world to me. Hell even if it turned out that it WAS a fake smile, it felt real. And that's all that matters. I will never forget her smile. I will never forget her voice. I will never forget her beauty. I will never forget her personality. Most of all, I will never forget HER.
<3
Matt
