My lack of updates have a real reason this time; and it is not a 'good' one

May 17th, 2015 - My older brother passed away. He fell asleep while cleaning his pool and while the EMTs were able to resuscitate him, the brain damage was too severe; he died when they took him off of ventilation. I literally stood there and watched as his last breath left his body. It's a surreal thing to witness. I still don't understand it.

I feel like the wrong brother died. I mean truthfully. This might be me getting all emotional and all that, but for real. What do I have going for me? Not a damn thing. What did Danny have going for him? A wife, a daughter, a decent career that would have taken off eventually. Basically everything. And yet here I sit, breathing while he is gone. No one to take care of his family. He had life insurance, but there is no telling when/if they will get that money.

I attended my brother's wedding AND funeral at the same church. Still unreal. And only a 10 years difference between them. He didn't deserve his fate. Not that anyone ever really does, but especially not him. He wanted a pool because we grew up poor and had to use the community pool. It was important to him to rise above the financial hardship(s) that we faced in our lives. And he did; for a little while.