I might literally be going insane...

I've been having weird thoughts as of late. Well not weird so much as not "normal" in the sense that if people knew what I was thinking they would question my sanity. I don't blame them. I'm beginning to question it myself. I mean, maybe it's just the fact that I really don't talk to anyone. Jason and I converse, but it's not the same as having a group of friends to talk and do stuff with. I dunno. I honestly think that if I had more time to think over the decision, I might not have moved out here. But sometimes the tough decisions have to be made without pondering long, as was the case this time. 

I'm crushing on a girl at work. I might have mentioned it before. She has a boyfriend of at least 3 years, but I can't help myself. She is everything I am looking for/want in a woman. I know we can't (and mostly don't) always get what we want, but I feel helpless. She is the bright and shining light amidst the smoldering pit of brutality that is my workplace. I might be replacing my old crush with this new one because I don't have anyone, but I'm not sure. [Seems to be a recurring theme, me not being sure of something.]

It's been almost 3 months and I have ZERO new friends. I have met people here, but no one I would consider a friend yet. That's mostly due to being an antisocial hermit, but yeah. It's not like anyone at work has made an effort, aside from the whale mentioned in a previous blog. But, that's a situation that has almost gone away. I finally managed to get it through her head to stop trying to pursue me...I think. Time will tell I guess. 

There was more to the story, but after working doubles this whole fucking weekend I am tired. I am going to cut it short here. 

-M