Still Waiting for the Good

I managed to get my CCNA Routing & Switching certification. I studied hard enough I guess. So far no hits on any jobs I've been applying to. Not even "remote" interest. I still have a lot of work to do apparently. I honestly thought I would be out of restaurants by this point, but I guess I'm forced to suffer through it for even longer.

It's funny how someone used to praise you for speaking their language (literally; spanish) and encourage you to flirt with them in it and now suddenly feels the need to do a 180 and tell you not to. I have no problem not speaking spanish, but the flirting? That was HER fucking idea in the first place. Ugh. I can trace a lot of bad things in my life to facebook, and the internet in general. If I had never made that Darkwing Duck group then I never would have met her, and things would be different. If I never had a livejournal then I never would have made that blog entry and ended a friendship with someone I really cared about. We're talking as friends again now (like 8 years later) but she's moved on and is likely to get married. 

While I'm on the subject of how different I wish things were, I wish my parents had been much stricter about video games. Maybe I would have done something with my life, instead of floundering around wasting time and money on virtual nonsense. What is it about video games that make them so appealing to me? Probably the fact that my real life sucks as hard as it does. Escapism at its finest. 

Well yea so things were supposed to get better by coming here. I was supposed to improve my life. So far I've just been mooching off of my friend. I need to push myself harder to pay him back. He'll probably never ask a penny from me, but I know I need to be able to help him out financially. Truth be told I wish I could just take out a life insurance policy and name him the benefactor. Then when whatever the hell it is that is tormenting me finally decides to cash out he can cash out as well. But that's not possible at the moment. 

I gotta figure stuff out. And soon. 

-M