I have this condition.....I've told you this before haven't I?

"Only every time I see ya!"

From Memento, one of the best films ever. And this was before everyone was on Christopher Nolan's nuts because of Batman. 

Anyway, I was wondering if I might be crazy. Like, need to see a shrink style crazy. Obviously I'm not physically hurting myself or anyone else but I have such a problem with life. As I have noted in this blog before, I have a problem with going from wanting to live and get the most out of life, to just wanting whatever the hell it is that is bothering me to just take me out. And I flip flop on this issue on a whim. Recently my stance was that I wanted to better myself and make a great life, but being so fucking tired all the time pretty much made that impossible. I TRIED, I honestly gave it a shot but I came away with nothing. Just yesterday I thought to myself, "Fuck it. Just kill me already." I'm not talking suicide or about taking my own life, but since I've disregarded whatever the hell disease/condition I have that has been bothering me since at least 2008, I am talking about that killing me. 

I found out the girl I've been texting and stuff is only 22. I don't know why I thought she was 24, but the fact that she didn't understand a lot of my references now makes sense. She asked me if it was a problem and I told her no. I mean she wouldn't even be the youngest person in the group were we to progress to that point. She invited me to something on March 16th, but then told me that we have to meet in person first....and proceeded to not make any plans for that. *le sigh* I know she is nervous, (she told me so) but I don't have scales or a tail or something. She really needs to just get it over with. Meh.

Oh so my latest scheme? Gonna try and learn to draw, in the hopes that I can become a web-comic. lololol. Good luck with THAT! I'm stupid.

-M