In my last entry you were made aware that
things were happening in my life. But things have changed already...
So
the girl I have waited 7 years for, has changed her mind. It was that quick. We
didn't even do anything. She just came to the realization that she hated all of
my friends (and they her) and so it wouldn't work out. Can't argue there.
Especially when I tried to honestly think about how it would be and came to the
conclusion that she parties way too hard. That's not the type of woman I
want.
Speaking
of the type of woman I DO want....my crush at work said something on friday
that made my heart melt. It was absolutely touching. I had gotten into it with
another server and told my crush about it. Apparently she went and told the
other server "What did you do to MY Matthew?" *swoons* Can you
believe it? I haven't been called someone's anything in a long time. I don't
even know the story or meaning behind it or anything. She is being real coy. I
was planning on asking her yesterday when she got off of work, but she left in
a real hurry. Not sure if it was because she was tired or because people were
teasing her about it. If it was the teasing I'm gonna be pissed. Why can't a
girl like me? It's not like I've spent the last 2 years flirting with her and
getting to know her as much as I can. Fuck. If people are teasing her for
having feelings for me I honestly think I am going to lose my shit. Fuck people
for that. *le sigh*
I
don't know. I mean it's not like she is going to leave her boyfriend for me or
anything. And it’s not like I am in any position to take care of her and her
son in the really unlikely scenario that she does. *le sigh*
According to my parents we might end up
staying in SA. I have some decisions to make, but I think I might still end up
in North Carolina
I guess that’s it for now.
-M
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